Thank you very much for being my loyal readers throughout the past couple of years. I LOVE writing movie reviews. I’m not shutting down my blog, but I have moved on to a different platform for sharing my opinions about all the terrible films that are released every weekend . I’m very sorry I’ve been so MIA for the past few months.

I am a journalist, and I now work as a staff writer at AllMediaNY.com in NYC! I could not be happier! My boss lets me write whatever I want when reviewing movies, so y’all can expect the same sarcasm, the same style and honesty you’ve come to expect from me here.

Follow me on Twitter @Molly_AMNY and@MoveCrtcPrncess. I’ll update both when I write a new review, which will generally be posted on Friday afternoons.

Sincerely,

Your Movie Critic Princess

http://www.allmediany.com/

Kunis and Timberlake have great chemistry, but that’s about all that’s great about this film. Excess nudity replaces excellent dialogue. The plot really is strong, and along with the cute clichéd moments and witty banter, the film is enjoyable.

A 160 from Black Swan (the sexual activity warrants 20 degrees), this film really showcases Kunis’ comedic abilities, which are fairly excellent. Some of the lines that are supposed to be funny had me  scratching me head. That’s not really her fault, though; it’s the writing. When she’s funny, she’s really funny, but when she’s not, it’s just awkward.

I keep waiting for Timberlake to release a new album, but I supppose he’s keeping busy acting — and his skills are not too shabby. His dialogue is comparable to Kunis’, but his dramatic skills are better than his comedic skills, which are charming at best.

With some of Hollywood’s finest as supporting players, this movie really should be better. Woody Harrelson as Dylan’s work cohort, Jenna Elfman as Dylan’s sister, Richard Jenkins as Dylan’s father and Patricia Clarkson as Jamie’s hippie mother all lend a helping hand to the movie, but all of them have a minute effect on the comedic and dramatic peaks this movie tries to achieve.

If you want to see Timberlake’s and Kunis’ backsides (sorry, no full frontal), then this is the movie for you. My only “I wish this film had” is at the end, Dylan should have hiked up his pant leg to show he wasn’t wearing any socks. You’ll have to see it to get it. If not, I hear some wizard film that’s pretty good is currently playing.

Honestly, way too many elements are in this movie. Nothing was coherent. The plot didn’t flow; it felt like two incomplete plots intertwined. Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is a test pilot for Ferris, a plane corporation (I guess, never really explained), in some city in America. Yes, the titles that pop up at the bottom of the screen tell the random planets and galaxies, but where in America does this take place? Only the comic book readers may ever know. He and the owner’s daughter, Carol Ferris (Blake Lively), apparently had a relationship some time ago, but that’s never really fully explained, like every other aspect. Deductive reasoning at its best can only see that Hal totally messed up, since apparently that’s what he does.

Well, guess how the screw-up emerges from screw-up-dom? Well, a dying alien “chooses” him to become the first human Green Lantern. The Governor’s son’s, Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard), DNA becomes infected when recruited by Dr. Amanda Waller (Angela Bassett) to do a biological analysis on the dead alien. Someone, Hector becomes evil. Again, it’s never really explained. He is Hal’s first enemy. The other plot is one of an alien creature that wants to destroy all the green lanterns. After I stopped yawning every few minutes, I noticed that it looked like a head of thick dreadlocks without the head.

The leads, Reynolds and Lively, are actually the weak actors in the film, which is much more because of the lines they were given than Reynolds. Reynolds needs to stick to the romcom genre, and Lively needs to stick to television. I’m still convinced The Town was a fluke, even though her Bostonian accent wasn’t to be desired.  Sarsgaard was excellent as the maniacal villain who came from the shadows, more specifically his dad’s. Not that he’s really a recognizable actor, but I never would’ve guessed it was him.

Go see a movie this weekend, just not this one. The end is predictable. No cliffhanger is really left for a sequel, because apparently the (or both) plot is finished, but I really wouldn’t mind one. Nothing can be worse than the original. It’s summer! Get some sun, and wait until a movie worth your opportunity cost is released!

Black Swan is thrillingly haunting. The entire film is a girl’s life as a metaphor for the ballet Swan Lake, which eventually turns to an unfortunate series of events. This girl is Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman), who lands the role as the Queen Swan in the company’s first ballet of the opening season, which is Swan Lake. She beats out many other girls and replaces veteran Beth Macintyre (Winona Ryder – seriously) in this role.

The ballet’s director, Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel), tells her that he has already cast Veronica (Ksenia Solo) when she asks for a word in his office the morning after her principle audition, when she basically ruined her chance. She is just too sweet and virginal. Her words did not convince him, but when he makes a move and kisses her, she bites his lip. That little bit of passion does. He casts her as both the white and black swans.

After that first ten minutes, the final hour and a half of the film follows her preparation for opening night. The pressure this role forces upon her basically turns her into a paranoid schizophrenic. The correlation between her downward spiral to greatness and the story of Swan Lake makes the film. These caveats make this film more than a movie. Everything about Black Swan is deep and follows through until the end.

Nina’s relationship with her mother (Barbara Hershey) is the classic mother-became-pregnant-so-she-spawns-her-dreams-of-what-could-have-been-upon-her-daughter, but Aronofsky takes it to another level because he links their psyches of controlled perfection to each other’s dreams. The other relationship is with new dancer, Lily (Mila Kunis), which is friendship that Nina imagines to be much more, from lovers to a surreptitious rival. Thomas also tries to build more of a relationship with Nina than director-dancer, but his advances only help to enable her to reach her potential as the mysterious black swan.

The casting in this film is perfection. Natalie Portman deserves that Oscar she’ll win for this role. Her portrayal is truly haunting. She plays almost two juxtaposed roles with the same end goal – one of this sweet ballet dancer who dreams of nothing but to be infallible, and this obsessed neurotic who won’t let anyone get in her way to opening night.

Winona Ryder, though not in the film for more than ten minutes, brings to life, and almost death, this starlet of ballets past. Her psychotic has-been stands out so much that her scenes are perhaps the most thrilling of the film.

Mila Kunis. Who knew that Jackie Burkhart could actually act? Although this won’t happen, I would adore for her to win some notable award for this role, á la one from The Academy. Due to Nina’s psychological disturbance, Kunis almost has to play two roles as well – one of a friend and one as an underhanded adversary.

Barbara Hershey evocates raw passion as the overprotective stage mother from whom Nina seemingly inherits her disorders, from eating to mental. Vincent Cassel nails his role as a narcissistic and manipulative jerk who thinks he can make anyone in his life do anything he wants. He doesn’t know what too far is.

If you can’t tell, you should go see this film before you see any other one. I was so intrigued that I didn’t even check the clock on my phone once to see how much more time should pass until the credits begin rolling, and that’s definitely saying something.

This guy named Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) is Mr. I Can Get Any Woman Into Bed. He lives to make money and simultaneously screw as many women as possible.  He’s also Mr. Suave. On a side note, actors are called actors for a reason, I really hope Gyllenhaal is not method acting in any way, shape or form. Anyway, Jamie, a drug rep, is trying to get Dr. Knight (Hank Azaria) to write Zoloft instead of Prozac, which is pimped by this competing douchebag, Trey  Hannigan.

While impersonating as an intern to Dr. Knight (because the doctor tells him to do) in this effort to schmooze him, he walks into a room with 26-year-old, stage-one Parkinson’s patient, Maddie Murdock (Anne Hathaway). Not only does she list every single medicated and dosage she takes, she is wondering about a spot on her breast; so, not thinking anything about it, she pulls out her breast (nipple and all) and asks the doctor about the spot, which turns out to be a spider bite. The next scene shows her hitting Jamie over the head with her purse and yells at him about the prior incident. He then starts his normal, charming bs, and she calls him on it. He is intrigued by her lack of becoming-weak-in-the-knees at his every quip, so he calls the nurse, Cindy (whom he’s bedded) and begs her to give him Maddie’s phone number. She does, which if you know anything about HIPPA law, you could wind up spending at least a few months in jail if the patient decides to take legal action. Anyway, he asks Maddie out, and, after several attempts, she agrees and tells him to meet her at the coffee shop where she works.

After a 5 minute conversation where she basically tells in that all he’s want from her is sex. Then they go back to her apartment. After several months of being eff buddies, they begin an exclusive relationship, and he makes finding a cure for her Parkinson’s his new life goal. Mix that with the normal dram-com stuff, but with excellent acting, wittier dialogue and well-written dramatic moments. Then they break up. Will they get back together for a happy ending or does she die almost alone in her apartment with him discovering her as she’s almost gone? You’ll have to go see it to find out!

I don’t love this film as much as I loved it yesterday, when I saw it, but I actually do love it. If you go into the theatre thinking that its your normal dram-com, don’t go see it. I was shocked by the amount of nudity; although, Jake Gyllenhaal’s booty isn’t too bad of a moment (again and again and again…). I was also shocked by the amount of sex. This is one of those movies that goes all out with those scenes. Don’t take your teenagers to see this because they loved The Princess Diaries or think Jake Gyllenhaal is hot. It’s too mature, nor appropriate.

Overall, this is a well-done film. Gyllenhaal and Hathaway are actors that have the ability to actually act without me thinking about the actors themselves, but they are actually those characters. Although not aforementioned, Josh Gad plays Josh Randall, Jamie’s millionaire brother who sleeps on his couch while he’s separated from his wife. He made me laugh in every scene that he appeared. He steals the spotlight from both Gyllenhaal and Hathaway. Hank Azaria is also amazing, yet dryly hilarious. All through the film, I was thinking, “I know this actor. What is his name? He’s excellent in every film I’ve seen him.” This morning it finally hit me. He is this doctor to a tee.

In case you haven’t heard, this film is also getting major Oscar buzz, along with every other less-acclaimed award show buzz.

Although my predictions haven’t always been accurate (remember when I said Sandra Bullock wouldn’t get an Oscar nomination, much less win, for her role in The Blind Side? I do.) I would say a nomination for Hathaway and the film. If Gyllenhaal gets lucky, him as well.

Go see it. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

For the .001% of the world who knows of Harry Potter but does not anything about this world, here’s how Hallows, Part 1 goes, in its most basic form. Harry, Hermione and Ron have quit Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry prior to their final year to go find these horcruxes, which now-dead Dumbledore left for Harry to find. Harry must destroy these horcruxes (I think — my memory is a bit wary) so that he may defeat his rival, Lord Voldemort because “neither may live while the other survives.” The entire movie follows Harry, Hermione and Ron on their search for these horcruxes. The movie ends with Voldemort opening Dumbledore’s tomb to find the Elder Wand, which is about the halfway point of the book.

Now, let’s remember this is a movie based on the book. Read the book because it is far more intriguing than the movie. If I hadn’t seen the first six movies (or read the first six books) and read the seventh book, I would not have a clue what on earth is happening in this movie. From beginning to end only those who follow the series will truly enjoy it. I was even trying to remember some aspects that I had forgotten.

Paradoxically, the film is a fast-paced delight that is quite true to the book. Although watching the movie requires some thought to understand the plot, most people who watch it will enjoy it and think it is worth the $7-$10.

I don’t really have much more to say about this movie. It’s excellent whether or not you’re a fan; you just might actually understand what is happening if you’re a fan.

Ben Affleck has only gotten better with age, and developing films seems to really have become his forte. Through his big-budget action films (Pearl Harbor) and bombs (lest we forget Gigli), intense, character-centered dramas are his strength (think Good Will Hunting). He doesn’t have a weakness in The Town; he co-wrote, directed and starred in it.

Jeremy Renner, Albert Magloan and Desmond Elden (his first film, yeah) are equally as strong as Affleck, though their roles combined are about as big as him, and Renner’s is much bigger than the other two actors. They’re all excellent as their separate character’s personalities show though the group dynamic.

Though she’s been acting for more than 15 years, many of those films critically-acclaimed, I’ve never noticed Rebecca Hall in a film; however, as Doug’s lover who suffers an unfortunate and manipulated heartbreak she shines within this boy-focused film.

Don Draper Jon Hamm is wonderful as a tough FBI agent whose current goal in life is capture (or kill) MacRay’s gang. I can’t say a lot about his character; he’s just excellent in this role.

For how much she campaigned for her role and how much she is promoting this film, I really expected Blake Lively to have a much more prominent role. If the Gossip Girl star is the main deterrent for why you’re not seeing this film, don’t let her. She breaks out of the Serena van der Woodsen, perfect-looking role. She plays a white-trash, single mother well. She has the acting chops and not a terrible Boston accent to boot. The role is well-cast, but a character actress with not such a perfect body might have done a better job.

No actor is a weak link in this film, and I couldn’t find one, though the last scene is a bit cliché and seen. If you haven’t seen a film this year, which is very unlikely, spend your money on this one.

Ferrell’s Allen Gamble is a straight-laced, NYPD accountant. It’s almost good that he’s not more attractive because he couldn’t have carried this role if he was. Ferrell definitely rebounds from the unfortunate incident that was Land of the Lost.

Marky Mark’s (who doesn’t still love that nickname?) antagonistic Terry Hoitz has an anger problem, and halfway through the film, it becomes a bit annoying instead of hilarious. He does the character justice; though, it mostly isn’t him, it was the way the character was written.

For you men that go see this film for Eva Mendes, be prepared to be disappointed with her 10 minutes of screen time. Yep, that’s it. Although, she is quite amusing when she’s on the screen, even though most of those moments are in the trailer.

With cameos by Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Derek Jeter (seriously), Brook Shields and Rosie Perez, this movie is about as funny as possible without a better script and character development. Check out the matinée, but don’t expect your classic, perfected Will Ferrell comedy again, yet.

Efron plays Charlie St. Cloud, who takes the entire two hours to get over his little brother Sam’s (Charlie Tahan) death, for which he felt was his fault, since Sam dies because Charlie had to go to this senior graduation party. The first 10 minutes is this setup. The rest of the movie takes place five years in  the future, where Charlie is still trying to get over Sam’s death. Oh, and he works in the grave yard where his little brother is buried. He reconnects with Tess (Amanda Crew), a girl with whom he went to high school. The twist at the end actually surprised me, which I wasn’t expecting at all.

Zac Efron. Personally, I think he broke out of the HSM mold with Me and Orson Wells, and Charlie St. Cloud was just an extension, but no one saw that movie, so I suppose St. Cloud will just have to be his break-out role. Unfortunately, it isn’t a great one. He acts well, but the movie needs to be better for him to make the transition from teen hearthrob to critically-acclaimed adult actor.

Charlie Tahan actually stole the show a bit from Efron (‘s abs). He acts as a dead boy quite convincingly. He also looks a bit like Efron could have  looked at that age, which helps his performance.

I didn’t really like Amanda Crew in her role as Tess Carroll, St. Cloud’s love interest (and it has nothing to do with Efron, seriously). I don’t know quite what it is about her, but throughout the entire film, I just kept thinking, “I wish someone else had been cast in this role.” Her acting is fine, her chemistry with Efron is fine, but that’s all. I wasn’t wishing they would end up together in the end, like (if a rom-dram is good) I should be thinking.

If you really love Zac Efron, go see this movie. If you don’t, then it’ll probably be a waste of your time.

The movie is in the previews. An American CIA Agent is accused of being a Russian spy. Then the CIA tries to catch her because she escapes to make sure her husband is safe, and blah, blah, action, blah, blah, more action, blac blah, and the end. In the midst of all that excitement, the writer (Kurt Wimmer) decided to put in every possible political scenario, which happens to bore.

Angelina Jolie really is a wonderful actress. She nails this character perfectly. I’d almost, almost go see it just for her performance. Actually, I wouldn’t, but she is the character.

Liev Schreiber is Jolie’s partner in crime, no pun intended. I’m actually a huge fan of his because he plays every character so well, and his resume is incredibly diverse. He does so with this character as well.

Every other character in the film is so minor that they are not even worth mentioning. The entire film is really about if Salt is going to be free and find her husband.

I wouldn’t go see this; I’d go see Inception again.